My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
