last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
