Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
