How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
