That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
