so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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