I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i just google imaged poop.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
NoShamevember. You game?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
