DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
