You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize