I molested 6 butterflies tonight
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
