wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
