I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
