she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
