I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
