ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
