turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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