I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
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