OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
