He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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