But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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