Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize