We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize