why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
