there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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