Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
