I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Woke up backwards on a recliner
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
i think im in europe. pls send help
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
