it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Randomize
