the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
soo... how was my night?
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