Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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