Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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