i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
