The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
