its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
oh god the rape fog is back!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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