you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
