So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Two words: nipple clamps
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