38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
