and you said cock pushups were impossible
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
