Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
