i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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