Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
