I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
