Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
