I must be too annoying 4 u.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
