Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm like, not good at living.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
