Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
