Quick, to the slutcave!
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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