I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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