There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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