Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
