she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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