I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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