I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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