i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
