Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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