sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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