Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
