I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
