I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
