well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
