Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
