I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
