what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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