so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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